Hello interwebs, Glitterati, Newcomers, Old friends,
Welcome to the J Glitter Show where everyone wins a prize. That prize is wasted time on the internet. YAY!
I know it has been awhile since I have posted. For this I am sorry. There have been some hiccups in my life which I am now rectifying. I won’t go into the smaller ones now but I will try to quickly bring you up to speed.
On October 16th 2012 I Stroked in public.
Yup at 5:30 on a Tuesday my beautiful brain was maliciously attacked by a cruel blood clot.
Bastard.
How did a blood clot get to my brain you ask? Well the little sneaky coalescence of my own glittery juice catapulted from the correct atrium to incorrect atrium through an atrial septal defect I was born with.
Unfortunately, in Tennessee in the 80’s we did not check babies for such common things. Go Vols!
Therefore, having a hole in my heart, a simply clot that would have gone to my lungs and been filtered out there; launched itself upwards to my brain and instead of oxygenating my brain cells and increasing my ever-growing ever shocking intellect. This collection of glitter (which we all know runs through these veins) cut the flow of happy juice to my synapses killing a lemon sized section of my parietal lobe and my optical nerve.
As you can imagine there was some slight complications to a chunk of brain tissue dying. My whole right side of my body became useless which is ridiculously startling to be sure. Also having blood on the brain is the worst headache imaginable. Then becoming aware that my right eye has abandoned me really tops the cake.
So then I go through the stages of grief
Denial: “I cannot have had a stroke, I’m 27 and healthy. I’m a non smoking, 4 mile a day running, vegetarian who occasionally does yoga. There’s no way I could have one of those.”
Anger: “Stupid birth defect, damn you smoking mother, Marfan’s disease (self diagnosed), Betrayed by your body
Bargaining: I skipped this stage, no one to bargain with
Depression: “I will never run again, I am going to get fat, I am old and decrepit, woe is me, my face might droop, What if I get a lazy eye.”
Acceptance: “I’ve gotten all my motor skills back and most of my vision. I am Great (as always).”
But throughout the time of this emotional shit storm; I enjoyed staying at the “Wonderful Indian River Hospital!”
In case you didn’t feel the sarcasm
Then as if this wasn’t enough; my mother came to visit. After an 8 year hiatus… Mommy issues aside it wasn’t the best two weeks of my life.
After they found the hole and ascertained all of the damage done without insurance I was surreptitiously ejected out of the hospital and back in to Gen Pop with a fresh prescription for rat poison.
How excited am I?
After adjusting to the permanent peripheral vision loss in mostly my right but also my left eye; lowered Depth perception; and short-term memory loss, I’m just as Fantastic as before if now just a bit more wacky. Gotta Love me.
With this new lease on life I am becoming a much more positive, glittery me. I will be sending you more rainbows and cupcakes, and hopefully some good laughs soon.
Thank you all for bearing with me, being there to support me, and helping me to realize, “Everything is temporary!”
Until next time Glitter On Bitches!
Everyone should be Gay 